I was recently frozen in fear in my life. Satan was working overtime. Even though I can say with surety it was Satan, and even though I had it told to me by everyone in my life that it was him, and even as I type this, I remember a dream where he appeared to me to make me fearful, I was floundering.
Last week, I had a breakdown at work. I was weighed down by the emotions of the kids I work with, and I honestly couldn’t see myself doing this job forever. I also was given some troublesome news about a coworker. My worries about my own kids seemed magnified as well. I just boiled over. ENOUGH!
I confided in a close work friend and let it all out, then set into action. I thought, how can I better myself to move into a different job? What are my next steps in my education?
God had another plan. To be brief, I ended up with a job offer for something totally off my radar two days later. I describe the experience as whiplash, to go from confusion and sadness to joy and relief in 48 hours. My whole family and even coworkers celebrated with me because they all knew how I was feeling previously.
The culmination of feelings was a slow build over several weeks and even months. Suddenly I felt free and alive!
On a screenplay, this would be where it says, “Cue the evil one.”
Within a day of accepting the offer, Satan planted a seed of doubt in my mind so strong that I felt frozen in fear. I felt like a shell of a person. Like I said, in a dream a few months ago, Satan told me I would never be good enough. Those were his exact words. It didn’t bother me then, because I honestly felt good about things in general. Now that I am reflecting on this moment, I honestly felt that way over the last week.
I reached out to my family and friends immediately. My mom said, “Linda, this is Satan. Look at what God just did for you.” My friends said, “Linda, this is the evil one trying to steal your joy. You cannot doubt what God just provided you.”
The constant reassurances put some of that peace back in my heart. A coworker told me, “When we are fearful, we combat it with faith.” I, lo and behold, read a scripture right after that, confirming the same sentiment. Then, my mom sent me a poem she wrote given to her by God about faith.
Even though I doubted, God still gave me reassurances.
“I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” (Psalm 34:4)
I am so thankful that even in my weakness, he sent people to lend me some spiritual strength. I won’t lie, I am still uneasy. I don’t feel hopeless, but I feel some anxiety about the unknowns before me (in the normal range of worry).
I share all this because we all live in this world. There are stressors and decisions. Emotions can get the best of us. But I will be praying for you that God speaks to you and brings people to you to anchor you in His love. We can feel swallowed up and hopeless, but we must realize who plants those seeds. God conquers those feelings inside of us and replaces them with peace.
“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)
This article has undergone ministry review and approval.