Many times, I have found myself in a situation where I need to examine why the person behaves as such. I remind myself that everyone has a story.

For example, when I taught in a Title I, extremely low-income school, many times my students would get to school and frequently melt down. I could only imagine what their home life was like and possibly the events that happened before they got to school daily.

One student, who I will call A, was very disrespectful during my reading instruction with her group. I put a behavior system in place where points were deducted for not following rules that we established. One day, it took seven rounds of me deducting points because of A’s behavior before she finally stopped misbehaving. My daughter, Cat, came to school with me that day, while her school had a break, because she loved to help. Her jaw dropped at the situation.

The next day, A came to school wearing a shiny sticker. I asked her where she got it from, and she said, “The nice police officer who came to my house last night gave it to me.” Needless to say, I had taught A’s siblings previously, and I knew her home life was tumultuous. None of A’s behavior was her fault. Although I had to be very patient with seven rounds of her being so disrespectful, I was firm. In my heart, I showed her grace.

A friend of mine once told a story about a time when she was driving on an expressway in New Jersey, and a car was going so slowly in front of her. She couldn’t pass the car for a long time because of traffic. My friend grew so frustrated and admitted to thinking the behavior was deliberate. She finally passed the car and saw it was an elderly driver clenching the wheel and doing the best they could. My friend is a Christian and repented for being angry.

How can grace be interwoven in these two scenarios?

Both situations have trigger points. Those trigger points ignite anger. Do my shortcomings trigger the Lord? The Lord mercifully extends grace regardless. So how much more should I extend grace to others? If someone appears very angry in traffic, in a tense customer service interaction, bank, coffee shop, etc. I always try to maintain the perspective that there must be something triggering that anger.

Ephesians 2:8 reminds us that grace is God’s gift: “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God.”

I don’t always know the story behind rebellious students, visits from police officers, or slow drivers. I do know that the Lord has extended unmerited favor to me when I haven’t done anything to deserve it. Therefore, I need to do the same. 

Thoughts to ponder: Who will we extend grace to today, as the Lord has shown His unmerited favor for us? It is the gift of God.