Today’s article was originally published by the Student Support Program in August 2017. Click here to read the full newsletter.
Today I want to share a bit of my experience with dealing with one of my own worst enemies: myself.
It sounds strange, to be at war with oneself, but it’s true. We are often the worst enemies of our soul when we let ourselves be discouraged or meander about our service to God and living in righteousness. Confused? You’ll see what I mean.
I gave my life to Christ at age 16 and spent the next 10 years trying to change and become a different Cinthia. At this point, you may be thinking, are we not supposed to change when we come to Christ and become new creatures in Him?
And that answer is…of course! Those who know me in person know that I am very extroverted. I like to talk, sing, laugh; I love to be involved in everything, but when I first came to the Church, I looked to so many young people who for me were, and still are, excellent women of God. They were worthy to guide others by the ways of the King, but the honest truth was that I was nothing like them! And I do not mean physically. They were quiet, more patient, they sang well, they were always smiling, they always said words of encouragement to me (surely you can think of someone who is like this in your own branch), and I then found myself trying to be like them.
I prayed, I fasted, I pleaded, I cried, I tried everything and guess what? I got nothing. God had been polishing my life, and He changed many of my bad habits. He had made me a better person, but I was still me, and I found myself trying to be someone else completely.
My hope is that as you read this you understand that from the moment of your very existence, you have been gifted with talents, aptitudes, and a unique personality from God to do wonderful things on this earth.
With time and the help of God, I understood that my joy and my lack of fear when it came to speaking up or speaking in front of others all served a purpose in the hands of God. We must not forget that He endowed us with a spirit of self-control and that we should be governed by the order of our Church and our God.
But do not deny yourself of who you are.
If you happen to be a quiet one, glory to God for it! You will be able to listen to others attentively. If you happen to be the outspoken one, glory to God! You can spread joy and scatter love.
One more thing before I sign off. Few would recognize me if they saw a photo of me when I was 13 or 14 years old. I dressed completely in black and listened to music that was far from praising God. I experienced different feelings within myself and my heart was broken.
I still remember the times I thought I’d be better off committing suicide. I remember one night in particular, I was only 15 years old and I felt nothing was worth living for, I was crying in my room and it was late and I felt that no one was listening to me. I said to myself: “Whoever it is, get me out of this and I will do whatever you want, I do not know who is real, Satan, Buddha, Jesus, any god that can, get me out of this feeling.”
I am sure you can imagine how the story ended!
CHRIST STEPPED IN TO SAVE ME BECAUSE HE IS THE ONLY ONE THAT COULD HAVE LIFTED ME UP!
When I gave my life to the Lord, I recalled that night and how He answered me, so I decided that I would never walk with my head down, that my face and my clothes would never be dark again, and I allowed God to transform me into the joyful person that I am today.
So let us not judge others by their seriousness or their open personality. Let us seek where we can use our natural-born gifts and talents to serve others and our Redeemer.
Enjoy who you are, knowing that in the wisdom of God, He created you in the best possible version.
This article has undergone ministry review and approval.