Every day for the past month, I’ve tried to write this blog. And every day I couldn’t do it. (Thanks for bearing with me, Sister Michelle.) See, a month ago I decided to write about a very personal topic, one that’s a little taboo for our blog. One that I knew God was telling me to write about but that I just couldn’t seem to approach. ‘Cause it meant I had be vulnerable, and honestly, I feared that you all would make fun of me. But then I remembered who I’m talking to. And suddenly it came pouring out.
Dating. It’s about dating.
Because right now, in this new late-twenties chapter of my life (I say reluctantly), dating is hard. Especially when you’re looking for the real deal. Especially in New York. Especially in 2019.
Not to get all “back in my day,” but it’s a different world than it was in high school and college. Exhibit A: dating apps. So. Many. Apps. Sometimes they help; sometimes they hurt. And it takes a lot of trial and error. We’ve also got way less face-to-face interaction. Thanks to phones and other addicting tech, it’s simply harder to connect in person. And then there’s the fact that not a lot of folks believe in God. And for any of you in my boat, you know this one’s a non-negotiable.
God’s given me a handful of relationships and almost-relationships throughout my life that’ve taught me so much. But what He’s given me now is a blank slate. And I hear Him saying, “Just wait.” You know, my favorite thing to do. So, while I wait for Mr. Right to ride in on his white horse (that’s how it happens, right?) I’ve started doing a thing that some close friends encouraged me to do:
My first reaction: “Uh…what?” But then they went on to explain, and it clicked. Dating God means I stop obsessing over finding him, and start obsessing over finding Him. It’s a much better use of my time than forcing the next date, stressing about “dying alone,” or buying into all those you’re-just-not-good-enough thoughts.
So, how exactly will I date God? I’ll carve out time to talk to Him. Spend all my spare time with Him. I’ll go everywhere with Him, and He’ll go everywhere with me. Sometimes we’ll stay in and read, sometimes we’ll go out and explore. He’ll introduce me to all His friends, and I’ll introduce Him to mine. In the hard times, He’ll be there for me, and I’ll try to be there for Him. I’ll date God.
This mental/spiritual shift in perspective is challenging, no doubt. But I’m committing. Or trying. Because gone are the plans I had at 17 for the life I thought I’d have today. You know the saying: Woman plans, God laughs. But ever since I started dating God, He’s reminded me that everyone’s got their own timeline and He’s in control of mine. That the waiting doesn’t mean He forgot about me. It means He’s working. He’s prepping. And His plan is better than mine. This I know for sure.
So if you’re tired of waiting for something to happen, wondering if your prayers are working, if you’re defeated by a heavy burden, or simply don’t know what’s next, date God. Get close to Him. Give Him all you’ve got. And only then, I believe, will we find ourselves in the middle of an answered prayer.
This article has undergone ministry review and approval.