Every day for the past month, I’ve tried to write this blog. And every day I couldn’t do it. (Thanks for bearing with me, Sister Michelle.) See, a month ago I decided to write about a very personal topic, one that’s a little taboo for our blog. One that I knew God was telling me to write about but that I just couldn’t seem to approach. ‘Cause it meant I had be vulnerable, and honestly, I feared that you all would make fun of me. But then I remembered who I’m talking to. And suddenly it came pouring out.
Dating. It’s about dating.
Because right now, in this new late-twenties chapter of my life (I say reluctantly), dating is hard. Especially when you’re looking for the real deal. Especially in New York. Especially in 2019.
Not to get all “back in my day,” but it’s a different world than it was in high school and college. Exhibit A: dating apps. So. Many. Apps. Sometimes they help; sometimes they hurt. And it takes a lot of trial and error. We’ve also got way less face-to-face interaction. Thanks to phones and other addicting tech, it’s simply harder to connect in person. And then there’s the fact that not a lot of folks believe in God. And for any of you in my boat, you know this one’s a non-negotiable.
God’s given me a handful of relationships and almost-relationships throughout my life that’ve taught me so much. But what He’s given me now is a blank slate. And I hear Him saying, “Just wait.” You know, my favorite thing to do. So, while I wait for Mr. Right to ride in on his white horse (that’s how it happens, right?) I’ve started doing a thing that some close friends encouraged me to do:
Date God.
My first reaction: “Uh…what?” But then they went on to explain, and it clicked. Dating God means I stop obsessing over finding him, and start obsessing over finding Him. It’s a much better use of my time than forcing the next date, stressing about “dying alone,” or buying into all those you’re-just-not-good-enough thoughts.
So, how exactly will I date God? I’ll carve out time to talk to Him. Spend all my spare time with Him. I’ll go everywhere with Him, and He’ll go everywhere with me. Sometimes we’ll stay in and read, sometimes we’ll go out and explore. He’ll introduce me to all His friends, and I’ll introduce Him to mine. In the hard times, He’ll be there for me, and I’ll try to be there for Him. I’ll date God.
This mental/spiritual shift in perspective is challenging, no doubt. But I’m committing. Or trying. Because gone are the plans I had at 17 for the life I thought I’d have today. You know the saying: Woman plans, God laughs. But ever since I started dating God, He’s reminded me that everyone’s got their own timeline and He’s in control of mine. That the waiting doesn’t mean He forgot about me. It means He’s working. He’s prepping. And His plan is better than mine. This I know for sure.
So if you’re tired of waiting for something to happen, wondering if your prayers are working, if you’re defeated by a heavy burden, or simply don’t know what’s next, date God. Get close to Him. Give Him all you’ve got. And only then, I believe, will we find ourselves in the middle of an answered prayer.
This article has undergone ministry review and approval.
I was raised in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I found this church website just recently. It feels so right to say, I know that this larger community that follows the Prophet Joseph Smith has truth and light, and is not apostate. This article, Sister Charity Lombardo, was an answer to this married woman’s heartache. My marriage can be saved, once we bring God back into it, once I let God back into being the priority in my life.
Awesome article. Thank you for sharing.
Boy, things sure have changed since I was dating. 47 years ago today I be exact. I married the guy I met a a young people’s weekend in Lindsay CA in 1971! I was just telling our granddaughter about how we met and that God was in this matter from the beginning. But I like the idea of dating God. Who else knows your heart. Your inner most secrets! God. Our father, our best friend. Loved this article. Thank you for sharing!
Sister Charity
Deja Vous Though there were no dating apps “back in my day” your story reminded me of those comments that you mentioned and no doubt heard, “Don’t force it” “You will know once you meet him” “Guys are intimidated by you” As you know those statements never help.
I can’t begin to tell you how amazing you are by sharing this story, and by dating God. You are so so so on the right track to happiness. No one else can make you happy, only God and you can do that. Then as that special person comes into your life, it just adds to that happiness. I truly believe there in nothing so wonderful and attractive than a happy person.
Clearly God has blessed you with amazing parents, beautiful spirit, beauty, humility and wisdom. Will pray that you find comfort in your happiness and that you will be continually blessed by His goodness.
P.S. I was once in my late twenties and decided to only date until it stop being fun. God saw fit to introduce me to Bro Rob and through him our church, and I am still having fun these past 27 years. I sincerely hope you find the same joy.