“When Pilate saw that he could prevail nothing, but that rather a tumult was made, he took water, and washed his hands before the multitude, saying, I am innocent of the blood of this just person.” (Matthew 27:24)

The English language idiom “to wash your hands of someone or something” comes from the above verse of scripture. The phrase means that you refuse to accept further responsibility for something or you want to end all involvement or disassociate yourself from it. That’s what Pilate was trying to do at this particular time — he was supposed to be responsible for deciding what to do with Jesus, but he stepped back and disassociated himself from the decision, in an attempt to have the mob assume responsibility for killing an innocent man.

There may be times in our lives when we are tempted to wash our hands of certain people in our lives — people who have hurt us or disappointed us. Sometimes, it’s the right thing to do. However, don’t be too quick to wash your hands of people — perhaps the Lord wants you to continue to be part of the lives of such people.

One example of this is being involved with people, perhaps people who you love, who need to be closer to the Lord — people who have yet to be baptized, people who are members of the Church but are no longer very active, people who have left the Church entirely. Presumably, if you’re involved with anybody in any of these categories, you’re praying for them and, if the opportunity presents itself, you’re doing your best to encourage them to be closer to the Lord.

However, after a while, it’s easy to become weary of praying for the same people. It can be frustrating to keep hoping for something to happen and nothing changes. If you see no interest whatsoever and/or behaviors that hardly conjure up the image of a servant of the Lord, it can become tempting to just give up and “wash your hands” of them, leaving them to the Lord to deal with them.

However, don’t be too quick to wash your hands of them. None of us wants to even entertain the thought of someone we love suffering eternal destruction, so that should give us incentive to continue to pray for them and encourage them as much as possible in the direction of serving God, recognizing that “while there is life, there is hope.”

Lehi dealt with this type of situation, right up to the end of his life. Even on his death bed, he was trying to encourage his two oldest sons, Laman and Lemuel, to look to the Lord. He told them:

“My heart hath been weighed down with sorrow from time to time, for I have feared, lest for the hardness of your hearts the Lord your God should come out in the fulness of his wrath upon you, that ye be cut off and destroyed forever; Awake, my sons; put on the armor of righteousness. Shake off the chains with which ye are bound, and come forth out of obscurity, and arise from the dust.” (2 Nephi 1:17,23)

Perhaps the people you’re waiting on have made it clear that they don’t want to hear about God and they have nothing good to say about Him. Clearly, these are people whose hearts are hardened — pray for them to be softened. Perhaps they’re caught up in sinful activities or are so busy with the pursuits of life that they have no room in their lives for God. These are people who are bound with “chains” — pray for those chains to be broken. 

Although someone with a hardened heart or who is bound with chains may not be open to being preached to, continue to show the love of Christ to them and share the joy that comes with serving God — this will make a powerful statement to anyone and could make a difference over time.

Even as we try our best to continue in prayer for our loved ones and not wash our hands of them, we ultimately have to trust God for the results. If there is any little opening to soften a heart or break chains, God will certainly do so. After all, He loves the person even more than we do, so He has incentive too!

I remember a story about a sister in New Jersey who had a wayward son. As the years went by, everyone she knew told her to wash her hands of him, but she was resolute in continuing to love him and pray for him, insisting that someday he would turn his life around. When this sister was near the end of her life, her son came back to church, gave his life to Christ and was baptized. The sister got to see her prayers answered before she died.

Perhaps you know someone who came to Christ late in life after holding out for many years. These were surely the result of someone loving them enough to not give up on them. Who do you know now who might benefit from you not washing your hands of them?