Today’s article is a list of reasons why you definitely should NOT send your testimony to the Gospel Blog for publication on Miracle Monday. We know this may seem odd, but it’s kind of an odd day, so here goes:

1. People will think you want attention.

If you get your testimony published on Miracle Monday, then everyone will think you only did it for the attention. You’ll be branded as a limelight-hog forever, and no one will ever look at you the same way again. How embarrassing.

2. People will think you are praising yourself.

Of course, the point of Miracle Monday is to praise God for what He’s done. But people will secretly think that you’re praising yourself. Everyone will think that you think your miracle is better than everyone else’s miracle. You don’t want that. Better to just circulate that testimony on a small scale.

3. Your testimony isn’t good enough.

Your testimony needs to bring the wow factor to get published on Miracle Monday. We’ve got people to impress, after all. Plus, readers will poke holes in your story, nitpick at it, and probably email you with negative feedback. Might as well dunk that miracle in lemon juice right now.

4. None of your friends are doing it.

Your friends have some pretty good testimonies, and they haven’t sent them in, so why should you? If your peers aren’t sending in their miracles, then you definitely shouldn’t. Don’t be different. It’s way too risky.

5. Nobody asked you.

You shouldn’t send in your story unless someone asks you to — like a special request. That would make you feel a lot more comfortable, and until someone rolls out the red carpet, you’ll just sit tight on that testimony.

Bonus Reason 6: It doesn’t matter.

It’s not like your testimony is going to touch someone’s heart or anything. It’s not like it’s going to be exactly what someone needs to hear that day. What you do or don’t do doesn’t really matter in the big scheme of things, so if you don’t share what God did for you, it’s no big deal. 

APRIL FOOLS!

Obviously, this blog post is an April Fools Day joke! For the record, we do not believe or endorse anything that appears above the words “April Fools!” But if it helped you overcome some of your hesitations about sending in your testimony for Miracle Monday, then please — pretty please — click here to share it with us!

This article has undergone ministry review and approval.