The Good Lord Floats a Boat

Written by Sister Erin Light on Thursday, February 20, 2014. Posted in Devotional

The Good Lord Floats a Boat

With all the hype surrounding the upcoming film "Noah," I wonder how many people are going to dig into scripture to get the true scoop on this godly man. Since Noah adaptations are apparently à la mode, I decided to make my own Seuss-ian retelling of Genesis 6 to 9.

God came to chat
Just a few days ago.
He sat Noah down,
And told him, "Here goes:
Now you see, recently
I've had a lot on my mind.
Watched the kids being mean,
Selfish, unsharing, and unkind.
There's been too much crime,
Too much horsin' around;
I've had it up to here!
Sin and strife have gained ground.
Noah, it's time to shine up this place.
I'm going to cover the whole earth
With rain, water and lots of waves."

Noah said, "What should I do?"
God said, "Build a boat!
Make it this big and this high
Get it ready to go."

Noah understood
And said in reply,
"I'm 600 years old,
But I'll do what I'm told!
I get what you said
When you said what you meant,
And I will be faithful
Two hundred percent!
And no matter who teases me
Or thinks I've got quirks,
My faith won't waver!
This work I won't shirk!"

So he gathered his kids,
And they chopped down a tree.
Then another
And another,
For big planks and beams,
And ramps and loading docks,
And a nice, neat cover for the top.

As they hammered and nailed,
They attracted a crowd,
Friends and neighbors
With voices harsh and loud.
"Oh heavens! My stars!
Would you look at him go!
It's a gigantic boat!
Uh, there's no water, ya know!"
They mocked dear old Noah,
But he paid them no mind.
Dark clouds started brewing
It was they who'd be left behind.

Noah let out a whistle
And rounded up, two by two
Every kind of animal,
And he grabbed his family, to boot!
They hustled into the boat,
And locked the door tight,
And just when it got
The most scary and quiet,
They heard a small tap,
Then a rap
Then a pitter
Than a patter
And a clatter
Then an earth-shaking splatter!
The sky broke open
And buckets of rain
poured down on the land.
In torrents it came!

The mockers got scared
And banged all over the boat,
"Let us in! Open up!"
But Noah said, "Sorry, folks."
The ark teetered left,
Then swung around right.
It floated quite nicely
Off into the night.

Forty days and evenings
The ark bobbed all over
(I'm sure it was swept from
New Delhi to Vancouver!)
Then suddenly, the sun shone,
And Noah sent out a dove,
But no dry land could it find,
So it returned with a shrug.
A few days later,
The dove flew again
And never returned.
Must've found some dry land!

Noah yelped, "Alright people!
Come on, Polly, Spot, Rover!
Get out of the boat!
Thank the Good Lord, it's over!"
So they bowed to the ground,
And blessed His name on dry land.
Praying they'd never have to
Be seasick again!
"No problem," God said,
And He gave them quite a show.
He promised no more floods
With a dazzling rainbow!

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