Marrying Outside The Church

Written by Sister Stefanie on Thursday, February 13, 2014. Posted in Holidays, Devotional

Marrying Outside The Church

We're shifting gears back to you marrieds today. May this topic be thought-provoking.

I've been having what feels like the same conversation with different people about this, so I felt I should share it with you.

Growing up, I always thought that the man I married would already be a member of The Church or at least would convert before we got married, just as my grandfather and father had done. I felt that was expected of me.

Before meeting my husband, I had dated guys both from inside and outside of The Church. It was a lot easier dating a member because we were able to share in the blessings of God without explanation.

That's what I wanted, but, once again, God told me different.

My husband is not a member of The Church of Jesus Christ. Because I had grown up thinking I should marry inside The Church, even after getting engaged, I really questioned whether I was doing what I wanted or what God wanted. Maybe you're in the same boat and wondering the same thing. Here is my testimony.

I had done a lot of fasting and praying about it, and on our wedding day, as I walked down the aisle, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was doing what God wanted. Just because it wasn't the path I thought I was supposed to take doesn't mean it wasn't God's plan.

My husband is Christian and has a relationship with God. Having separate Christian faiths does mean there are differences, and this is sometimes difficult for us, I must be honest.

My husband is a wonderful man and serves God in his own way. Even though he is not a member of The Church, he supports me, prays with me, comes to church with me, and participates in activities we do as a mission. He does not get in the way of my service to God, and, in fact, encourages me when I'm down and even reminds me of the things that I've told him when he's been down. Of course, I would love it if he became my Brother in Christ, but that's between him and God. I'm not worried about it. I've given it to God and will continue to pray about it.

Before I got married, I spoke with a few sisters married to men who are also not members. They all told me the same thing. I need to be consistent in my service to God because even if he doesn't say anything, he notices. I've found that to be true. When I say I go to church every Sunday, I need to go to church. I can't skip because I'm tired or want to go hiking or do something else. When I say I pray before I eat and before bed, I need to pray at those times, even if I'm the one doing all the praying. When I say I have complete trust in God, I need to always hand my problems over and stop worrying about them.

So, that would be my advice to anyone married to or even dating someone who is not a member of The Church. I really believe that God knows what's best for each of us and that you can share your life with and lead an extremely happy life with someone who is not a member of The Church. But know that there will be differences, and it is harder, so it's very important to make sure to follow God's plan.

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Comments (3)

  • Sis. Denise

    Sis. Denise

    13 February 2014 at 08:59 |
    Sister Stefanie; Thank you for sharing, I also married outside the Church and my spouse is now a member of Our Church I wanted to point out all the positive blessings that show God is already working with your husband The fact that he attends all the meetings and supports you in your worship is a true blessing, We will pray that he feels the Spirit of God and that the Lord directs him, One thing I learnt is we must have patience and let God do his work, I think you both have many many blessings in store


    • Sis Stefanie

      Sis Stefanie

      14 February 2014 at 14:25 |
      Thank you for that Sis Denise. It's such a blessing to hear that your husband is now your brother as well. I need to remember to continue to pray hard for my husband that God moves His hand but I do see God working in him already.


  • Merinda Kaczmarek

    Merinda Kaczmarek

    13 February 2014 at 10:20 |
    I, too, am married to a wonderful man who is not a member of The Church. We will celebrate 48 years next month. Before we married, I was completely honest and told him my beliefs and if he couldn't accept me serving God in The Church, then he should not pursue me any more. Like Sister Stephanie, I had to live my faith and let him see it. He now attends church with me, prays before he eats and is very respectful to anyone of The Church who comes to our home. I thank God for such a mate.


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